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365 Eulogies

by Jak Locke

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1.
You Never Say My Name Right 06:00
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So long as we're being honest, I only wanted a three night tryst And it's easy when we kiss to feel you resist When we're both well aware there's really nothing here to miss Wasn't it you who said "you can try so hard but you'll never be better than this"? Lady, who am I to argue when you choose your words so obvious? Yes you do Your poverty's addictive, and you spend your time so wastefully And the tears I hear, yes, I believe they're sincere When you drop them so uncontrollably Yet the time that you defend as your only friend is also your only enemy But you cry so good it'd be a shame not to waste it on me, yes it would On the night that we met, I can still remember the comfort of my loneliness And nothing's really changed, I've still got all the same I had before, only less Your hunger drew me in but it's your hatred that made me stay Is this your poison on my lips or just some lingering taste of a forgotten yesterday? Now, words aren't important, it's how they're spoken Well, that's what you told me anyway And I've got nothing but respect for all the ugly things you say, yes I do Yes and it's half lies I've given you but which they are I'm not too sure anymore I spoke them with such honesty though, and I know it's only presentation you adore Sometimes I wonder what I'm still even here for But I've got nowhere else to be and at least with you I'm not ignored, yes I am Please don't tell me you didn't know there's no truth in anything I might have said I only tried to pass by but your gate was wide open Besides, you looked so easily led When I woke yesterday evening I remembered what I'd always known This was never my bed, no, and you even said so But then you thought you were alone Somehow it never mattered whose windows were shattered From whoever cast the first stone But how could I bring you down when you do it so well on your own? Yes you do So long as we're being honest, I never really liked that song Its words are meaningless, which reminds me what I've meant to tell you all along It wasn't you that I wanted I just never realized I was here that long But I got nowhere else to be and so I'll stay even knowing it's wrong, yes I will.
2.
May As Well Be An Ocean Between 02:06
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Riding down a lonesome rail with my new set of eyes Talking to myself about the treasure I let die For she won't hear a thing I say and now I'm good as gone away Writing songs of solitude in moody empty rooms Repetitions fill my ears as echo voices croon But she won't read a thing I write, silent as the sunrise light Waiting for the moon to rise and kissing off the past I'm talking to the walls about the love I thought would last But she won't hear a thing I say and now I'm good as gone away
3.
Epilogue 02:51
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The ashtray's full, the TV's on in the sleeping afternoon Complacent, they're waiting for a selfish afterlife They all scream "it's tragic" but nobody's there to listen Their shadows on their walls in the sleeping afternoon Eclipses approaching, nothing left to hold them back from you Tomorrow is postponed, no more cause for disappointment Nothing left but shadows in the sleeping afternoon Nothing left but shadows in the sleeping afternoon
4.
I Haven't Snapped 02:16
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Words upon words, our favorite game Let's drop them to see where they scatter Trading it up for the value of names For an audience that doesn't matter Back and forth, passing the mantle of blame Taking more pride as it tatters Only to find now I'm left with the same Only older, more jaded and sadder No, I haven't snapped, I've shattered It's as lonely as you'd guess, when you've made it your address At the end of the road that's less traveled I was only at my best when I held claim to so much less Finding comfort in some warm spot of gravel Dead memories attest to the price of the obsessed Past the pale mane I can see them from my saddle I can't begin to clean the mess and I can't help but to confess There was never a thing there to battle And that I haven't snapped, I've unraveled I've got nothing left in me and so far to go I've got nothing left in me and so far to go I've got nothing left in me and so far to go I've got nothing left in me and so far to go
5.
Worse 04:05
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From all I can tell, you're the sum of what you've seen And what you've heard From any word Of any person of ascribed importance they've been assigned And really, it's very few Ideas that are really new And most of your ideals and even what you do Came from someone else's mind Meaning nobody's unique Meaning the meaning that you seek Is finding the repetition you can swallow And you'll find that there's nothing else to find Beyond saying "Why should I listen to you when it's the same as listening to me?" Don't believe them when they say It's all in your head Cuz you were right when you realized You took the wrong way instead And your friends don't age like wine They age more like bread So when you said "I'd be better off dead" Like you're the first Well what's worse From where you're at It gets even worse than that It's good to be a parrot, I can fly so high and free I speak everyone else's mind and none argue with me You see, I see The way to be To make the others call us "we" Is wear one mask for the mission and the other for the plot "It's clearly not what you might have thought" That's what we said even as we fought Top down and bottom up until it's all gone And all the pawns Who resent the new dawn Even if they're right and it's really wrong It doesn't matter, we can just kill them all later on And you really better hope It's all in your head Cuz you find a bitter flavor In the words you just said And your ideas don't age like wine They age more like bread So when you said "Things should be this way instead" Like you're the first Well what's worse From where you're at It gets even worse than that I've figured it out: It's all in my head So of course it don't offend me Whatever you had said And my friends don't age like wine And they don't age like bread Cuz like I said They're all in my head Like I'm the first Well what's worse If that's so Then my imagination blows
6.
It's The Nights That Kill Me 04:44
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Regardless of whoever this song has made its way to I wouldn't wish the music in my head on you Oh, if you could hear the monologues I say to me Infinite repetitious volumes of soliloquy, ohhh It would blow your mind It blows my mind Thirty hours and I'm far from sleeping Wearing out the floor and thinking this'll be the minute it changes Half the time I think I'll wake up younger And even as I'm saying that, I know that it's ridiculous but lately I find it harder to care if I come off strange I've learned not to get comfortable anymore any resemblance makes obscene the thrill that lived before It's a special kind of hell to think you've found your place And you believe the smile that you painted on your face, ohhh Until you realize where it all went wrong I found you never really can get over it The most that you can hope for is that you can learn to turn it off And still you know it's gonna find its way back No matter how you turn it in your mind you're gonna find That every crest you end up riding's always followed by a deeper trough And if I keep my distance, don't take it to heart I always knew what's best for you and I'm just playing my part Besides, the closer that we get, the more complex I'll be And I don't need to hear another person telling me, ohhh "I liked you better before I knew you so well" Another tragedy, so what's the difference? I hate to have to say it, but it's easier to swallow each time And one day I'm gonna end up choking Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not before I'm dead Maybe I should have listened to me and kept all this in my head Because you didn't ask to hear this, you just want to hear me make words rhyme Momma, it's the nights that kill me Momma, it's the nights that kill me Momma, it's the nights that kill me
7.
Behemoth 06:08
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Out from below, like a flood the evil shadows flow Earthquakes began as the monster walked onto dry land I can see away I could walk away I could drift away I could die today Cloaked by a shield, only to my eyes is it revealed Come just for me, come to kill me oh so silently I can see away I could walk away I could drift away I could die today Born of the flame, in the end just it and I remain Formless and free, chasing phantoms floating randomly I can see away I could walk away I could drift away I could die today Pushed down below like a flood the searing venom flows Rainbow of gray, it pursues me to my dying day I can see away I could walk away I could drift away I could die today
8.
Old Ghosts 03:24
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Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me I'll send you my regards from tomorrow night Cuz this time I swear I'm-a get it right Only, I know there's death where flowers grow Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me I'll send you my regrets from tomorrow night Cuz this time I swore I'd got it right Something's bound to break and I know it's comin soon When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon And I'll see you I will see you Will I see you?
9.
Where I Left Off 02:22
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Here I come beating my own drum, no one even really knows where I came from But by now everyone knows I'm still gonna go my way Hidden behind stacks of things we can't take back, somehow you gonna have to find a way to swallow it, Jack It's strange, the loose ends always seem the most at home 'round the gallows And I could find a more expensive way to live if I wanted Ooooohh I swear I could Out in the breeze I come to find that it's easier to let the two dimensional be flat as they please Cuz you could waste so much time on a million things that don't even matter Misery finds itself a home in the minds of those that can't be satisfied without an axe they can grind And when their target is me, it's kinda difficult to not be so flattered And I could find a thousand people just like them if I wanted Ooooohh I swear I could And I could find a more expensive way to live if I wanted Ooooohh I swear I could

credits

released March 26, 2012

Recorded by Jak Locke at Total Sonic Chaos, New Orleans, LA, 2011 - 2012
All music, lyrics, instruments, vocals, mixing and album art by Jak Locke, except for "May As Well Be An Ocean Between", featuring Suki Kuehn on cello
www.jaklocke.com
Copyright © (P) 2012 Jak Locke

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Jak Locke New Orleans, Louisiana

Jak Locke is a multi-genre songwriter and performer based in and native to New Orleans, LA.

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