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Bloom

by Jak Locke

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1.
Feeling It 00:21
I got this play, no wait. I, I, and I got, that's not right either. I, yeah, I got I got this microcassette. And I, uh, I record things and play them. But I play them first and, no, wait. I got this recorder, no. I, I play this record.
2.
I don’t have enough cash to pay you for that meal, my friend There you go, kicking me out the restaurant again That’s all right, that’s all right, can I see an application? I’d like to work where you are, gimme money give me a car Give me a house, give me a woman, give me two Give me a better guitar, give me singing lessons And then I want some beer And a tour bus and give me a band and lots of drugs I need a cell phone to keep in touch with the drug lord And a jet plane, private airliner and I want the White House And the Capitol and um, the Pentagon too so I can collect all three The world, everybody’s gonna follow me on the news cameras And they’re gonna take pictures of me And there gonna be things in your newspaper every week, you know, update on where I’m at Be there just to see me just to be like “Wow, guess what I saw him, he’s so cool, he gave me a pencil and I’ve got it And it’s his monogram” and that’s another thing I want I want monogrammed pencils The little brass thing that holds the eraser up against the uh the wood part of the pencil I want that so I can give those out So people can have proof that they saw me And then what’s gonna happen, you like those kind of things Keep on updating every week and uh you’re gonna watch that And it’s gonna be really spectacular phenomenal I’m gonna be Charles Lindbergh except minus all the scandals It’s gonna be I’m a hero, yeah and then um, uhm Uh just give me an application
3.
Goin Get Old 00:50
I'm goin get old I'm never gonna do anything that I want I'm gonna get cold Cuz I can't afford the heat I'm gonna be hungry Cuz I can't afford the meat I'm gonna be thirsty Cuz water ain't too cheap I'm gonna be deaf I'm gonna be blind I won't be able to walk But you know what you can laugh at me And if I still got my voice box I'll laugh at you Because it's funny that I'm-a get old and fall apart like that But you will too
4.
Rejecto 04:04
There ain't a thing that you can do You can't tell me that I want you Cuz you know that it ain't true Too many sparks that you're throwin my way I'm not in the mood for playin that kind of game Tell all of your women friends that I say the same Yeah Bar at two, zero, five, four, six, seven Bar, two, some of these girls make me wonder if there's a heaven
5.
Railrider 00:14
6.
Well you got your junk in my trunk your broken blow dryer And your cassette tapes they got me higher when I smoked them Before I gave it to the trash man or the pawn shop You got trash bags all over the floor And you asked me if I could spare some room for storage You got junk in my trunk you got junk in the box You got junk in the drawer where I keep my socks And you got your underwear all up in the dryer You should take it out some time Cuz it don't fit me It don't fit me It don't fit me and you put on weight so it don't fit you no more no no Now I really didn't mind when you pulled your weight You bought all sorts of stuff like the bait when you asked me to go catch some food Since you didn't want to pull out your purse to pay for it Well, I got friends like you I got enough of them to where I can say I've got a lot of friends But you got my junk in my trunk like your old cans that you drank from And then you left em half full and they fell over whenever somebody was taking a turn My amp got burned out because you spilled Diet Coke all over it You got junk in my trunk, your old waxy earplugs that you left in They covered with bugs And your old time mattress that you used to use Cuz you thought there'd be some room You got junk in my trunk, all the bibles that the old men gave you on the corner of the street I don't want em, I got enough, because they gave em to me too You got junk in my trunk like the old TV and your VCR and your CD collection But nobody wants em because nobody listens to Bad Company that I know And nobody listens to Culture Club either You got junk in my trunk Script pages from your friend who writes movies and plays And you tell me that he's going somewhere and I'm not (I'm not) You got junk in my trunk, the old trashbag You got everything look like a drag And you smoke dope and heroin and crack and you didn't even save any for me So I got all sorts of crack stains all over the seat You got junk in my trunk like the old Palmpilot Made me drop my tape recorder and I smiled and I said That's enough anyway I'm running out of stuff Kicked yourself around and you liked it
7.
Raid 00:26
What There was a cockroach on the closet so I got the roach spray I sprayed the whole closet with it and it started flyin around It's under the bed, I don't want to look for it The whole room smells like roach spray now So I think I'm going to keep the window, uh, shut
8.
Styrofoam 01:38
Aw yeah I don't have what you're looking for Why don't you try the guys next door I like Styrofoam, it's all I can afford Everything in here's made out of it The plates to the cups to the knifes and forks And the bed and the door I can't get to sleep Everybody thinks that I'm a That I'm cheap And they're right Cuz I am
9.
Get Normal 01:17
It's about to get crazy, get ready, it's crazy now Aw yeah, it's crazy You ready for it to get normal? Get ready, it is normal There ain't too many people that tell me where I been Ain't too many angels that can tell me when I sin Ain't too much to talk about and there ain't too many places I been Ain't much, ain't much, ain't much, the end
10.
Those crazy slapstick comics, The Three Stooges, appear here in four 15-minute comedy sketches high-lighting their signature brand of humor, depicted by plenty of all-for-fun bopping on the head, tweaking of noses and kicking in the shins. In this first segment, entitled "Disorder in the Court," Larry, Moe and Curly raise havoc in the courtroom when they come to testify at a murder trial. The second segment features Shemp as the "Brideless Groom," a music professor whose rich uncle just died and left him $500,000 - provided he marries within 48 hours. "Malice in the Palace" follows the boys' comic misadventures as they sneak into a sheikh's palace in search of the "rootin tootin" diamond. And in the final segment, "Sing a Song of Six Pants," they play a trio of comically inept tailors who inadvertently aid a bank robber on the run from the police.
11.
Oh No 02:44
I walked by the table the other day I saw my friends and this is what they had to say (What did they have to say?) Get down go around do whatever you have to do Cuz if you don’t you-know-who’s gonna come up and talk to you (Who's gonna come up and talk to me?) I was smokin a joe out by the stairs And I noticed flies started flying somewhere out there You disgust me I just wanna have a cigarette in peace Is that too much to ask? I don’t think it should be Come on now, don’t make me cry "Hey, where you goin?" I try to get by my day without annoyance or irritation It takes concentration and to plan a station to go to whenever I need a safe haven Just leave me alone! Make the mirror wanna go back where it came from But it can’t do that so what does it do? It tries to run in all directions at the same time and it cracks Because it can’t take the stress, the same type of stress I have when you approach Because I think maybe it might be safe now Unfortunately, I’m wrong, cuz you’re there once again "Hey, come back"
12.
Eleven in the evening got nothing on my mind Eleven in the evening I’m trying to get to sleep all the time Got no food left got nothing to do Got nothing around me but to sit around and think about you Why you take all my time don’t you know you still owe me some cash For all the times that I picked you up in my car that I don’t have you owe me gas Give me money give me something to eat Cuz I remember last time when you came here you took all my meat You cooked it in my oven you put it in the microwave You asked me if there as any money I’m not trying to save And then you told me that you’re taking the vegetables too Now tell me baby what do you need with my roadmaps You got bad luck I thank the devil for you every day I’m stuck Must be some kinda cruel joke you take all my money til I’m broke Then you don’t leave nothin for me to eat Why don’t honey you just mail me some meat What’s that? You want some postage? Sure I don’t mind
13.
That Episode 00:22
Hello my name is Scooby Doo have you ever seen that episode of the A-Team where the whole A-Team and Mr. T and all of them they all get locked in this big barn and they can't get out and they take all this shit and they put it together and they make pipe bombs and they come out with this big humongous tank and they hurt everybody but they don't kill anyone because they never kill anyone? That's my favorite episode. Hello my name is Mr. T and have you ever seen that episode of The Smurfs where The Smurfs are running from Gargamel and Azrael and they're just running and they're all hauling ass and they see this hollow log and they all jump into the hollow log and Gargamel has no idea where they went? That's the best episode. Hello my name is Pipe Bombs have you ever seen that episode of Scooby Doo where Scooby Doo and the rest of the gang they're all running from this ghost and they pull off his mask and then they find out it's the storekeeper? That's the best episode.
14.
Strchynine in the food Cyanide in the water Girl it took a lot just to put you down You should thank me for all I care about I'm singin say hello to the ocean for me Say hello to the ocean for me Say hello to the ocean for me Say hello to the ocean for me, oohh It's cold, it's wet, it's damp I bet you catch a cold if you could only breathe Which you can't
15.
Can I drink the ink, it looks so tasty Can I drink the ink before you pick up that pen So I can know what you gonna write
16.
Globe Game 01:14
I like to spin the globe and stop it with my hand And whenever I end up in the ocean or in the middle of some sand No I don’t think I want to live there one day, I say it with a grin Cuz if I lived there maybe then I’d have to end up seein you or him I’m grabbing my plastic hanger and I’m talking to it all day long You can tell me that I can stick my head in the refrigerator and you’re still wrong No I don’t like your looks and I don’t like the light on your face So get away from me please before I grab the pencil and I start to erase
17.
I was walkin down, down the street Just me and my cigarette This woman came up to me and said, "I bet you wanna have some fun" I looked back at her and I said, "You wanna bet?" Little girl I know come up, asked me to do a favor for her Write a song and make it rhyme I look her in the eye and she asks me "What's wrong" I tell her, "I can punch myself in the face any time" The world keeps on turning with me on it And it never asked if it's all right here That's all right, I know God loves me That's why he gave me beer, hey
18.
Belt wrapped around my head blues
19.
340am 00:28
It's 3:40 in the morning, staring at the light fixture And there's three light bulbs and they're pretty bright The TV's off, the computer's still on And it's got a busted fan that makes a lot of racket And there's a lot of crap all over the room Guitar strings in the trash, vomit, lot of other things, lots of crap Yeah, it sucks

about

recorded may 2002 high on plastic
z is track 13 and scott is the other guy on track 11
everything else you hear is jak
smoke a radio for me or at least blow one up

credits

released June 4, 2002

original release: June 4, 2002
remastered release: March 11, 2019

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about

Jak Locke New Orleans, Louisiana

Jak Locke is a multi-genre songwriter and performer based in and native to New Orleans, LA.

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