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recorded may 2002 high on plastic
z is track 13 and scott is the other guy on track 11
everything else you hear is jak
smoke a radio for me or at least blow one up


released June 4, 2002


all rights reserved



Jak Locke New Orleans, Louisiana

Jak Locke is a multi-genre songwriter and performer based in and native to New Orleans, LA.

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Track Name: Feeling It
I got this play, no wait.
I, I, and I got, that's not right either.
I, yeah, I got I got this microcassette.
And I, uh, I record things and play them.
But I play them first and, no, wait.
I got this recorder, no.
I, I play this record.
Track Name: Contract Rider
I don’t have enough cash to pay you for that meal, my friend
There you go, kicking me out the restaurant again
That’s all right, that’s all right, can I see an application?
I’d like to work where you are, gimme money give me a car
Give me a house, give me a woman, give me two
Give me a better guitar, give me singing lessons
And then I want some beer
And a tour bus and give me a band and lots of drugs
I need a cell phone to keep in touch with the drug lord
And a jet plane, private airliner and I want the White House
And the Capitol and um, the Pentagon too so I can collect all three
The world, everybody’s gonna follow me on the news cameras
And they’re gonna take pictures of me
And there gonna be things in your newspaper every week, you know, update on where I’m at
Be there just to see me just to be like
“Wow, guess what I saw him, he’s so cool, he gave me a pencil and I’ve got it
And it’s his monogram” and that’s another thing I want
I want monogrammed pencils
The little brass thing that holds the eraser up against the uh the wood part of the pencil
I want that so I can give those out
So people can have proof that they saw me
And then what’s gonna happen, you like those kind of things
Keep on updating every week and uh you’re gonna watch that
And it’s gonna be really spectacular phenomenal
I’m gonna be Charles Lindbergh except minus all the scandals
It’s gonna be I’m a hero, yeah and then um, uhm
Uh just give me an application
Track Name: Goin Get Old
I'm goin get old
I'm never gonna do anything that I want
I'm gonna get cold
Cuz I can't afford the heat
I'm gonna be hungry
Cuz I can't afford the meat
I'm gonna be thirsty
Cuz water ain't too cheap
I'm gonna be deaf I'm gonna be blind
I won't be able to walk
But you know what you can laugh at me
And if I still got my voice box I'll laugh at you
Because it's funny that I'm-a get old and fall apart like that
But you will too
Track Name: Rejecto
There ain't a thing that you can do
You can't tell me that I want you
Cuz you know that it ain't true
Too many sparks that you're throwin my way
I'm not in the mood for playin that kind of game
Tell all of your women friends that I say the same
Bar at two, zero, five, four, six, seven
Bar, two, some of these girls make me wonder if there's a heaven
Track Name: Junk In My Trunk
Well you got your junk in my trunk your broken blow dryer
And your cassette tapes they got me higher when I smoked them
Before I gave it to the trash man or the pawn shop
You got trash bags all over the floor
And you asked me if I could spare some room for storage
You got junk in my trunk you got junk in the box
You got junk in the drawer where I keep my socks
And you got your underwear all up in the dryer
You should take it out some time
Cuz it don't fit me
It don't fit me
It don't fit me and you put on weight so it don't fit you no more no no
Now I really didn't mind when you pulled your weight
You bought all sorts of stuff like the bait when you asked me to go catch some food
Since you didn't want to pull out your purse to pay for it
Well, I got friends like you I got enough of them to where I can say I've got a lot of friends
But you got my junk in my trunk like your old cans that you drank from
And then you left em half full and they fell over whenever somebody was taking a turn
My amp got burned out because you spilled Diet Coke all over it
You got junk in my trunk, your old waxy earplugs that you left in
They covered with bugs
And your old time mattress that you used to use
Cuz you thought there'd be some room
You got junk in my trunk, all the bibles that the old men gave you on the corner of the street
I don't want em, I got enough, because they gave em to me too
You got junk in my trunk like the old TV and your VCR and your CD collection
But nobody wants em because nobody listens to Bad Company that I know
And nobody listens to Culture Club either
You got junk in my trunk
Script pages from your friend who writes movies and plays
And you tell me that he's going somewhere and I'm not (I'm not)
You got junk in my trunk, the old trashbag
You got everything look like a drag
And you smoke dope and heroin and crack and you didn't even save any for me
So I got all sorts of crack stains all over the seat
You got junk in my trunk like the old Palmpilot
Made me drop my tape recorder and I smiled and I said
That's enough anyway I'm running out of stuff
Kicked yourself around and you liked it
Track Name: Raid
There was a cockroach on the closet so I got the roach spray
I sprayed the whole closet with it and it started flyin around
It's under the bed, I don't want to look for it
The whole room smells like roach spray now
So I think I'm going to keep the window, uh, shut
Track Name: Styrofoam
Aw yeah
I don't have what you're looking for
Why don't you try the guys next door
I like Styrofoam, it's all I can afford
Everything in here's made out of it
The plates to the cups to the knifes and forks
And the bed and the door
I can't get to sleep
Everybody thinks that I'm a
That I'm cheap
And they're right
Cuz I am
Track Name: Get Normal
It's about to get crazy, get ready, it's crazy now
Aw yeah, it's crazy
You ready for it to get normal?
Get ready, it is normal
There ain't too many people that tell me where I been
Ain't too many angels that can tell me when I sin
Ain't too much to talk about and there ain't too many palces I been
Ain't much, ain't much, ain't much, the end
Track Name: High Literature
Those crazy slapstick comics, The Three Stooges, appear here in four 15-minute comedy sketches high-lighting their signature brand of humor, depicted by plenty of all-for-fun bopping on the head, tweaking of noses and kicking in the shins.

In this first segment, entitled "Disorder in the Court," Larry, Moe and Curly raise havoc in the courtroom when they come to testify at a murder trial.

The second segment features Shemp as the "Brideless Groom," a music professor whose rich uncle just died and left him $500,000 - provided he marries within 48 hours. "Malice in the Palace" follows the boys' comic misadventures as they sneak into a sheikh's palace in search of the "rootin tootin" diamond.

And in the final segment, "Sing a Song of Six Pants," they play a trio of comically inept tailors who inadvertently aid a bank robber on the run from the police.
Track Name: That Guy
I walked by the table the other day
I saw my friends and this is what they had to say
(What did they have to say?)
Get down go around do whatever you have to do
Cuz if you don’t you-know-who’s gonna come up and talk to you
(Who's gonna come up and talk to me?)
I was smokin a joe out by the stairs
And I noticed flies started flying somewhere out there
You disgust me I just wanna have a cigarette in peace
Is that too much to ask? I don’t think it should be
Come on now, don’t make me cry
"Hey, where you goin?"
I try to get by my day without annoyance or irritation
It takes concentration and to plan a station to go to whenever I need a safe haven
Just leave me alone!
Make the mirror wanna go back where it came from
But it can’t do that so what does it do?
It tries to run in all directions at the same time and it cracks
Because it can’t take the stress, the same type of stress I have when you approach
Because I think maybe it might be safe now
Unfortunately, I’m wrong, cuz you’re there once again
"Hey, come back"
Track Name: She Took All My Meat
Eleven in the evening got nothing on my mind
Eleven in the evening I’m trying to get to sleep all the time
Got no food left got nothing to do
Got nothing around me but to sit around and think about you
Why you take all my time don’t you know you still owe me some cash
For all the times that I picked you up in my car that I don’t have you owe me gas
Give me money give me something to eat
Cuz I remember last time when you came here you took all my meat
You cooked it in my oven you put it in the microwave
You asked me if there as any money I’m not trying to save
And then you told me that you’re taking the vegetables too
Now tell me baby what do you need with my roadmaps
You got bad luck I thank the devil for you every day I’m stuck
Must be some kinda cruel joke you take all my money til I’m broke
Then you don’t leave nothin for me to eat
Why don’t honey you just mail me some meat
What’s that? You want some postage?
Sure I don’t mind
Track Name: That Episode
Hello my name is Scooby Doo have you ever seen that episode of the A-Team where the whole A-Team and Mr. T and all of them they all get locked in this big barn and they can't get out and they take all this shit and they put it together and they make pipe bombs and they come out with this big humongous tank and they hurt everybody but they don't kill anyone because they never kill anyone? That's my favorite episode.
Hello my name is Mr. T and have you ever seen that episode of The Smurfs where The Smurfs are running from Gargamel and Azrael and they're just running and they're all hauling ass and they see this hollow log and they all jump into the hollow log and Gargamel has no idea where they went? That's the best episode.
Hello my name is Pipe Bombs have you ever seen that episode of Scooby Doo where Scooby Doo and the rest of the gang they're all running from this ghost and they pull off his mask and then they find out it's the storekeeper? That's the best episode.
Track Name: Say Hello To The Ocean For Me
Strchynine in the food
Cyanide in the water
Girl it took a lot just to put you down
You should thank me for all I care about
I'm singin say hello to the ocean for me
Say hello to the ocean for me
Say hello to the ocean for me
Say hello to the ocean for me, oohh
It's cold, it's wet, it's damp
I bet you catch a cold if you could only breathe
Which you can't
Track Name: Drink The Ink
Can I drink the ink, it looks so tasty
Can I drink the ink before you pick up that pen
So I can know what you gonna write
Track Name: Globe Game
I like to spin the globe and stop it with my hand
And whenever I end up in the ocean or in the middle of some sand
No I don’t think I want to live there one day, I say it with a grin
Cuz if I lived there maybe then I’d have to end up seein you or him
I’m grabbing my plastic hanger and I’m talking to it all day long
You can tell me that I can stick my head in the refrigerator and you’re still wrong
No I don’t like your looks and I don’t like the light on your face
So get away from me please before I grab the pencil and I start to erase
Track Name: Tuesday Again Already
I was walkin down, down the street
Just me and my cigarette
This woman came up to me and said, "I bet you wanna have some fun"
I looked back at her and I said, "You wanna bet?"
Little girl I know come up, asked me to do a favor for her
Write a song and make it rhyme
I look her in the eye and she asks me "What's wrong"
I tell her, "I can punch myself in the face any time"
The world keeps on turning with me on it
And it never asked if it's all right here
That's all right, I know God loves me
That's why he gave me beer, hey
Track Name: Belt Wrapped Around My Head Blues
Belt wrapped around my head blues
Track Name: 340am
It's 3:40 in the morning, staring at the light fixture
And there's three light bulbs and they're pretty bright
The TV's off, the computer's still on
And it's got a busted fan that makes a lot of racket
And there's a lot of crap all over the room
Guitar strings in the trash, vomit, lot of other things, lots of crap
Yeah, it sucks

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