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Jak Locke Goes Too Far

by Jak Locke

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about

Some of these songs have gotten me thrown out of some of the finest in uptight establishments!

Whether they're lampooning various eras of male chauvinism or being honest about Mardi Gras and hurricanes, each of these songs at one time or another ended up offending somebody enough to get me removed from the stage, from Tulsa, OK's overpriced restaurant scene to Covington, LA's famed White Flight Avenue, to even Mobile, AL's dumpy dives.

credits

released December 18, 2012

Jak Locke: all music, lyrics, instruments, vocals
cover photography: Kevin Hendricks

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about

Jak Locke New Orleans, Louisiana

Jak Locke is a multi-genre songwriter and performer based in and native to New Orleans, LA.

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Track Name: Let's Be Strangers
Everyone here has a dream and a story
Ideas by the thousands to spare
Yes, inside every mind is a wealth of experiences
And whatever they are, I don't care
Because what's worse than a person? Two people! It's true
And three people is worse by far
Add more and you'll see that the trend comes to be
The more people involved, the lower the bar
And so, if you see me, just keep walking by
We'll share more respect cuz we'll never know why
And I won't give a shit about you
If you'll do the same for me too
Look at me strumming this ugly guitar
Look at me looking right back
Maybe you hate everything that you've heard
"The jukebox was better, you hack"
Isn't it fun to feel superior
But there's always a flip side, you know
Singing stupid songs like this is my living
So have fun at your pointless fuckin job tomorrow
And please, if you see me, just keep walking by
We'll share more respect cuz we'll never know why
And I won't give a shit about you
If you'll do the same for me too
Don't be my friend
You'll just ask me to help you move
Don't be my friend
I'll just make you come to all my shows
Don't flirt with me
I'll just wonder if you've got crabs
Don't talk to me
Neither one of us is that interesting
And please, if you see me, just keep walking by
We'll share more respect cuz we'll never know why
And I won't give a shit about you
If you'll do the same for me too
If you'll do the same for me too
Track Name: I Will Remain
If on the day we met you had one hour left to live before away you'd waste
Really, nothing for me would change, and that's really not too strange
Cuz I'd have no idea that was the case
If you went and killed yourself because of some depression
That you were too depressed to get diagnosed
You'd have nothing to fear for I would still be here
I swear I'd even help you overdose
And if you were cut to ribbons in a sawmill
Or if you got yourself impaled upon a pike
I'd love you still, no doubt
Even with your intestines hanging out
I swear to you my love, that's what I like
I swear to you I wouldn't ever cry, not even if you died
Not even if you died
Not even if you died
Not even if you died
Track Name: 10 Woman Man
I's about fed up with hearing people jive
You know jealousy could eat a man alive
Well I'm just another fella trying to do what he can
If you wanna be my woman, I'm a ten woman man
But can't have eleven women, be a lowdown shame
I'm a ten woman man for sure
Spend your time with one girl and you'll just get bored
It ain't right to let no woman be ignored
It don't matter what the color, long as she's red hot
And if I want it a little different, I can choose from a lot
But can't have eleven women, be a lowdown shame
I'm a ten woman man for sure
Having such a lovely night under the stars
Ooh, but say! Who's that red haired number by the bar?
Well, you were woman number one and I loved you so
But she's prettier than you so you gotta go
Can't have eleven women, be a lowdown shame
I'm a ten woman man for sure
I just finished with the blonde in the hot tub
But now which one was I meeting at the club?
Well, I guess I'll find out when I get there and I hope she's clean
I had to drop a couple-a dirties, if you know what I mean
Can't have eleven women, be a lowdown shame
I'm a ten woman man for sure
Them uptight girls, they leave when I arrive
You know jealousy could eat a girl alive
Well there maybe be a vacancy by end of the week
But honey you gotta understand, a fella's gotta sleep
Can't have eleven women, be a lowdown shame
I'm a ten woman man for sure
I'm a ten woman man for sure
I'm a ten woman man for sure
Whoa I'm a ten woman man for sure!
Track Name: Who Loves A Parade
Oh it's carnival time in New Orleans, everybody's throwing up
Gunshots heard about a block away, so we's bound to get wrote up
From the New York Times to the L.A. News, no more reports of Katrina blues
Spread the word, we paid our dues, it's a good place to die again
Yeah it's carnival time in New Orleans, everything smells like shit
Plastic beads and smoked-up weed and a thousand and one armpits
But you're too drunk to tell at all or even notice the man wearing nothing at all
So go drink a beer with him and have a ball, it's a good place to make friends
Yes it's carnival time in New Orleans, everyone forgot how to drive
Colorado wreck in the neutral ground, I wonder how they made it here alive
Now I got a show at half past ten, I might get there at 3AM
And maybe next week I'll get home again, it's a good time to be late
Oh, it's carnival time in New Orleans, everyone's all wound up
That's a nasty bruise you got, I guess you should have let Grandma have that cup
Well you can have my share of the scene, I'll stay home and I'll stay clean
Yes it's carnival time in New Orleans and it's better on TV
Track Name: No, I Mean She Really Is Crazy
So it's that time of year again to drink all the beer again because you spoke your mind
How could you be so rude, you knew she's been in a bad mood because she's in one all the time
But that ringing in your ears, it's got to cease
And you'd do anything if she'll just give you peace
So just say that you're sorry, if you don't know why, don't worry, just go win your sweetheart back
The traffic was insane but then you found an open lane and now you're home with your paycheck
But instead of friendly greetings, you're receiving screams and beatings and a knife against your neck
"It's another woman!" she says in a voice filled with hate
"Why else would you walk in here three minutes late?"
Before she opens up your jugular just hand the paycheck bucks to her and win your sweetheart back
You've been under lots of stress and so some cardiac arrest has nearly stopped your life today
While they were doing surgery, it was on your anniversary and now there's hell to pay
So she tore out all your stitches and demands a night out as you hold your insides in with your left hand
But you only need one hand to drive so suck it up and look alive and go and win your sweetheart back
Oh buddy, why'd you do it? Things were great and then you blew it, now she's ironing your face
You get a sentimental feeling as she lifts you to the ceiling with a punch below the waist
She motions toward the stove with a gun
And you don't even know what it is you done
But if you want to feel her lovin, better climb into that oven so you'll win your sweetheart back
She finally had enough and so she's turned to playing rough and now she chainsawed off your leg
While scrambling for a ligature you bled on all the furniture so her forgiveness you should beg
But you consider that, just maybe, this is bad
That was the only left leg you ever had
But so you'll have a little limp, now buddy don't be such a wimp, just go and win your sweetheart back
Win your sweetheart back
Track Name: Sleazy Sexy
Aw yeah
Everybody knows where the ladies are at this time of night
They all with me baby, oh!
That is, they all gonna be with me
Because, because I got that special soft serve kinda love
Kinda oozes all over the place? Yeah, you know what I mean
I know how to make a woman scream
Oh yes, women are screaming at me all the time
My moms was yelling at me just the other day for leaving the TV tray out
But enough about me. Haha. Let's talk about you. You and me.
Now baby, tell me this
Have you ever done it on the moon?
Well, nobody has
Because you need to wear spacesuits on the moon and that would be kinda awkward
Kinda awkward, I kinda wish I hadn't said that
Kinda awkward like the feeling you get when I say
I want to be the man in your closet watching you undress
I'm sleazy, you're sexy, they both start with an 's'
And when you're trying to ignore me and my line of sight
I tell my friends I was with you last Saturday night
That's right
And girl, when they ask why you're not talking to me
I just tell them that's how I roll
I've moved on to something else already
And they don't need to know that I'm really talking about internet porn
And I haven't really lied, you know, I was sitting at this same table last weekend watching you dance with your friends
We were in the same room so provided we're going by Webster's definitions, I really was with you
With you and all your friends at the same time
I want to be the man in your closet watching you undress
I'm sleazy, you're sexy, they both start with an 's'
And when you're trying to ignore me and my line of sight
I'm memorizing every part of you for later tonight
That's right
Yeah, all right, nuff nuff talk, time for some of my magical action, aw yeah
Tonight i take my stand, I don't need no wingman
No, I'm riding this solo, first class
That girl in the grey, yeah the one who's looking this way
Tonight I'm gonna stick it in her
ooh ooh ooooooh ooh
Have you ever been in a crowded room and were talking to one of your friends
And the whole room goes quiet right before you say something you didn't necessarily want the whole room to hear
Well, that just happened
And now I'm that guy
And so I try to play it off
I say "can you believe he told her he wanted to stick it in her ass?"
Aw, but it's too late, isn't it
So now I'm really riding solo tonight
But baby, it's all your loss
I was just trying to do you a favor, share the wealth
So yeah, you damn right I'll go fuck myself
And lady, let me educate you on a little fact:
I'm so good I bet you I don't even last thirty seconds
So what you got to say now? Damn
I want to be the man in your closet watching you undress
I'm sleazy, you're sexy, they both start with an 's'
And when you're trying to ignore me and my line of sight
I'm memorizing every part of you for later tonight
That's right
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh, ooh
Track Name: See You On The Interstate
Say, what's that coming above?
It's getting cold and the sun's all dim
Low rent gamble in between all the levees
Where they hope you know how to swim
You've got one assurance
God don't care if you don't have insurance
Traffic jam
It's a traffic jam
And the interstate's a parking lot
I need a reservation, do you have any rooms?
"Well, I guess that depends how much money you've got"
Let's have a hurricane party!
Skeleton bones mixed with the Bacardi, oh!
Shit and corpses, corpses and shit
Shit and corpses, corpses and shit
Shit and corpses, corpses and shit, oh yeah!
Fuck fuck fuck the hurricane
Fuck fuck fuck the hurricane
Fuck fuck fuck the hurricane
Fuck fuck fuck the hurricane