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365 Eulogies

by Jak Locke

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03:24
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credits

released March 26, 2012

Recorded by Jak Locke at Total Sonic Chaos, New Orleans, LA, 2011 - 2012
All music, lyrics, instruments, vocals, mixing and album art by Jak Locke, except for "May As Well Be An Ocean Between", featuring Suki Kuehn on cello
www.jaklocke.com
Copyright © (P) 2012 Jak Locke

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Jak Locke New Orleans, Louisiana

Jak Locke is a multi-genre songwriter and performer based in and native to New Orleans, LA.

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Track Name: You Never Say My Name Right
So long as we're being honest, I only wanted a three night tryst
And it's easy when we kiss to feel you resist
When we're both well aware there's really nothing here to miss
Wasn't it you who said "you can try so hard but you'll never be better than this"?
Lady, who am I to argue when you choose your words so obvious? Yes you do
Your poverty's addictive, and you spend your time so wastefully
And the tears I hear, yes, I believe they're sincere
When you drop them so uncontrollably
Yet the time that you defend as your only friend is also your only enemy
But you cry so good it'd be a shame not to waste it on me, yes it would
On the night that we met, I can still remember the comfort of my loneliness
And nothing's really changed, I've still got all the same I had before, only less
Your hunger drew me in but it's your hatred that made me stay
Is this your poison on my lips or just some lingering taste of a forgotten yesterday?
Now, words aren't important, it's how they're spoken
Well, that's what you told me anyway
And I've got nothing but respect for all the ugly things you say, yes I do
Yes and it's half lies I've given you but which they are I'm not too sure anymore
I spoke them with such honesty though, and I know it's only presentation you adore
Sometimes I wonder what I'm still even here for
But I've got nowhere else to be and at least with you I'm not ignored, yes I am
Please don't tell me you didn't know there's no truth in anything I might have said
I only tried to pass by but your gate was wide open
Besides, you looked so easily led
When I woke yesterday evening I remembered what I'd always known
This was never my bed, no, and you even said so
But then you thought you were alone
Somehow it never mattered whose windows were shattered
From whoever cast the first stone
But how could I bring you down when you do it so well on your own? Yes you do
So long as we're being honest, I never really liked that song
Its words are meaningless, which reminds me what I've meant to tell you all along
It wasn't you that I wanted
I just never realized I was here that long
But I got nowhere else to be and so I'll stay even knowing it's wrong, yes I will.
Track Name: May As Well Be An Ocean Between
Riding down a lonesome rail with my new set of eyes
Talking to myself about the treasure I let die
For she won't hear a thing I say and now I'm good as gone away
Writing songs of solitude in moody empty rooms
Repetitions fill my ears as echo voices croon
But she won't read a thing I write, silent as the sunrise light
Waiting for the moon to rise and kissing off the past
I'm talking to the walls about the love I thought would last
But she won't hear a thing I say and now I'm good as gone away
Track Name: Epilogue
The ashtray's full, the TV's on in the sleeping afternoon
Complacent, they're waiting for a selfish afterlife
They all scream "it's tragic" but nobody's there to listen
Their shadows on their walls in the sleeping afternoon
Eclipses approaching, nothing left to hold them back from you
Tomorrow is postponed, no more cause for disappointment
Nothing left but shadows in the sleeping afternoon
Nothing left but shadows in the sleeping afternoon
Track Name: I Haven't Snapped
Words upon words, our favorite game
Let's drop them to see where they scatter
Trading it up for the value of names
For an audience that doesn't matter
Back and forth, passing the mantle of blame
Taking more pride as it tatters
Only to find now I'm left with the same
Only older, more jaded and sadder
No, I haven't snapped, I've shattered
It's as lonely as you'd guess, when you've made it your address
At the end of the road that's less traveled
I was only at my best when I held claim to so much less
Finding comfort in some warm spot of gravel
Dead memories attest to the price of the obsessed
Past the pale mane I can see them from my saddle
I can't begin to clean the mess and I can't help but to confess
There was never a thing there to battle
And that I haven't snapped, I've unraveled
I've got nothing left in me and so far to go
I've got nothing left in me and so far to go
I've got nothing left in me and so far to go
I've got nothing left in me and so far to go
Track Name: Worse
From all I can tell, you're the sum of what you've seen
And what you've heard
From any word
Of any person of ascribed importance they've been assigned
And really, it's very few
Ideas that are really new
And most of your ideals and even what you do
Came from someone else's mind
Meaning nobody's unique
Meaning the meaning that you seek
Is finding the repetition you can swallow
And you'll find that there's nothing else to find
Beyond saying
"Why should I listen to you when it's the same as listening to me?"

Don't believe them when they say
It's all in your head
Cuz you were right when you realized
You took the wrong way instead
And your friends don't age like wine
They age more like bread
So when you said
"I'd be better off dead"
Like you're the first
Well what's worse
From where you're at
It gets even worse than that

It's good to be a parrot, I can fly so high and free
I speak everyone else's mind and none argue with me
You see, I see
The way to be
To make the others call us "we"
Is wear one mask for the mission and the other for the plot
"It's clearly not
what you might have thought"
That's what we said even as we fought
Top down and bottom up until it's all gone
And all the pawns
Who resent the new dawn
Even if they're right and it's really wrong
It doesn't matter, we can just kill them all later on

And you really better hope
It's all in your head
Cuz you find a bitter flavor
In the words you just said
And your ideas don't age like wine
They age more like bread
So when you said
"Things should be this way instead"
Like you're the first
Well what's worse
From where you're at
It gets even worse than that

I've figured it out:
It's all in my head
So of course it don't offend me
Whatever you had said
And my friends don't age like wine
And they don't age like bread
Cuz like I said
They're all in my head
Like I'm the first
Well what's worse
If that's so
Then my imagination blows
Track Name: It's The Nights That Kill Me
Regardless of whoever this song has made its way to
I wouldn't wish the music in my head on you
Oh, if you could hear the monologues I say to me
Infinite repetitious volumes of soliloquy, ohhh
It would blow your mind
It blows my mind
Thirty hours and I'm far from sleeping
Wearing out the floor and thinking this'll be the minute it changes
Half the time I think I'll wake up younger
And even as I'm saying that, I know that it's ridiculous
but lately I find it harder to care if I come off strange
I've learned not to get comfortable anymore
any resemblance makes obscene the thrill that lived before
It's a special kind of hell to think you've found your place
And you believe the smile that you painted on your face, ohhh
Until you realize where it all went wrong
I found you never really can get over it
The most that you can hope for is that you can learn to turn it off
And still you know it's gonna find its way back
No matter how you turn it in your mind you're gonna find
That every crest you end up riding's always followed by a deeper trough
And if I keep my distance, don't take it to heart
I always knew what's best for you and I'm just playing my part
Besides, the closer that we get, the more complex I'll be
And I don't need to hear another person telling me, ohhh
"I liked you better before I knew you so well"
Another tragedy, so what's the difference?
I hate to have to say it, but it's easier to swallow each time
And one day I'm gonna end up choking
Maybe not tomorrow, maybe not before I'm dead
Maybe I should have listened to me and kept all this in my head
Because you didn't ask to hear this, you just want to hear me make words rhyme
Momma, it's the nights that kill me
Momma, it's the nights that kill me
Momma, it's the nights that kill me
Track Name: Behemoth
Out from below, like a flood the evil shadows flow
Earthquakes began as the monster walked onto dry land
I can see away
I could walk away
I could drift away
I could die today
Cloaked by a shield, only to my eyes is it revealed
Come just for me, come to kill me oh so silently
I can see away
I could walk away
I could drift away
I could die today
Born of the flame, in the end just it and I remain
Formless and free, chasing phantoms floating randomly
I can see away
I could walk away
I could drift away
I could die today
Pushed down below like a flood the searing venom flows
Rainbow of gray, it pursues me to my dying day
I can see away
I could walk away
I could drift away
I could die today
Track Name: Old Ghosts
Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me
Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me
I'll send you my regards from tomorrow night
Cuz this time I swear I'm-a get it right
Only, I know there's death where flowers grow
Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me
Seems like all this city holds is old ghosts for me
I'll send you my regrets from tomorrow night
Cuz this time I swore I'd got it right
Something's bound to break and I know it's comin soon
When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon
When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon
When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon
When my nights keep keepin me mourning after noon
And I'll see you
I will see you
Will I see you?
Track Name: Where I Left Off
Here I come beating my own drum, no one even really knows where I came from
But by now everyone knows I'm still gonna go my way
Hidden behind stacks of things we can't take back, somehow you gonna have to find a way to swallow it, Jack
It's strange, the loose ends always seem the most at home 'round the gallows
And I could find a more expensive way to live if I wanted
Ooooohh I swear I could
Out in the breeze I come to find that it's easier to let the two dimensional be flat as they please
Cuz you could waste so much time on a million things that don't even matter
Misery finds itself a home in the minds of those that can't be satisfied without an axe they can grind
And when their target is me, it's kinda difficult to not be so flattered
And I could find a thousand people just like them if I wanted
Ooooohh I swear I could
And I could find a more expensive way to live if I wanted
Ooooohh I swear I could