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Loud As Me

by Jak Locke

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1.
Cyanide 03:54
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It's a dead man hanging in a children's parade It's a daylight betrayal and a midnight charade See your corpse in the mirrors of the shards of your houses of glass It's a carnival freakshow where the deaf kill the blind Where the able are slaughtered but nobody minds Another day going nowhere, if you're lucky it won't go too fast When the codeine's flowing, want to take my time Want to sing a love song with the funeral chimes To a girl who pretends that the fallout is nothing but snow Cyanide in the water and I'm dry like a bone If you won't violate me then just leave me alone Another dirt-poor suicide waiting for the time to go I can see that each beginning brings about nothing more than countdowns to their end Me, I'm just waiting waiting for the rain to pass the time Nothing left to believe, got nothing to defend Now my alibi's level, holding hands with the devil Kill the silence with violence while the holy ones revel And I'll watch from the corner til the minutes are too few to waste When your angels approach you for to carry you home Try as hard as you can not to see you're alone Another surplus soul spent as ten more are born to replace I can see that each beginning brings about nothing more than countdowns to their end Me, I'm just waiting waiting for the rain to pass the time Nothing left to believe, got nothing to defend
2.
I Haven't Snapped 02:50
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Words upon words, our favorite game, let's drop them to see where they scatter Trading it up for the value of names for an audience that doesn't matter Back and forth, passing the mantle of blame, taking more pride as it tatters Only to find now I'm left with the same, only older, more jaded and sadder No, I haven't snapped, I've shattered It's as lonely as you'd guess, when you've made it your address at the end of the road that's less traveled I was only at my best when I held claim to so much less, finding comfort in some warm spot of gravel Dead memories attest to the price of the obsessed, past the pale mane I can see them from my saddle I can't begin to clean the mess and I can't help but to confess there was never a thing there to battle And that I haven't snapped, I've unraveled I've got nothing left in me and so far to go I've got nothing left in me and so far to go I've got nothing left in me and so far to go I've got nothing left in me and so far to go
3.
Night Never Falls, It Crashes 02:44
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I think this time the ending's clear I can feel it I can feel it, it's gonna be a cataclysm, I can't wait til it's here Life is cheaper than ever, you're worth more if you'd never climbed out of the womb Existence is free but survival will cost you so pay up until you rot in the tomb Don't mean nothing if you can't buy it, age comes fast in the dead riot In the end the only difference you'll find is that your coffin's nicer than mine Who'd want to be happy if it don't pay? The mark of success is your cash and prizes I got nothing to show for my life and I think that I like it that way, hey Find another distraction, we're just chemical reactions Repeat opinions from the headlines as if they were your own It's just a game, it's just a game, all of the fortunes you claim When no one's paying you can't play it alone When the currency's hit the bottom, the day of equality's finally come Anybody that could possibly help are the ones you moved here to get away from Don't mean nothing if you can't buy it, age comes fast in the dead riot In the end the only difference you'll find is that your coffin's nicer than mine Who'd want to be happy if it don't pay? The mark of success is your cash and prizes I got nothing to show for my life and I think that I like it that way, hey
4.
Nothing But Time 04:18
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Looking out the window for a day or two with the sun above the roof Kicking back and waiting for to sober up with a vodka 80 proof Listen to the cars and people passing by as the fan blades go around Now my phone is ringing as I take a drag, pick my phone up off the ground Nothing but time time time is that a crime Nothing on my mind mind mind and that's just fine Nothing but time time time is that a crime Nothing on my mind mind mind and that's just fine Talking to my girl until I hear a knock and I tell her "call you back" Open up the door and it's my boy Dennis in his beat up Cadillac Cruising down the highway with a paper bag wrapped around my day's intent Park at the apartments, pass another hour just to know that it's been spent Nothing but time time time is that a crime Nothing on my mind mind mind and that's just fine Nothing but time time time is that a crime Nothing on my mind mind mind and that's just fine Over to the club after the sun goes down, see my friends up at the bar Buy another beer to wash the liquor down, we shoot pool for about an hour Get back to the house around three A.M., not worried about no strife I'm not really sure just what tomorrow brings and that's my kind of life Nothing but time time time is that a crime Nothing on my mind mind mind and that's just fine Nothing but time time time is that a crime Nothing on my mind mind mind and that's just fine
5.
Dreamless 03:32
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I hear voices where silence resides, all they speak is demagogue refrains Lockdown, breakdown, another regicide, infinite reels of repeated frames Another worthless seed dispensed, masochistic ignorance Just another cold dreamscape to see I've become my own dream's ghost, kill the virus, kill the host I can see the end begins with me, yeah I see the beauty of my beautiful sin somewhere behind the screaming tide The truth's more lucid than it's ever been: the purpose of the universe is to die Another worthless seed dispensed, masochistic ignorance Just another cold dreamscape to see I've become my own dream's ghost, kill the virus, kill the host I can see the end begins with me, yeah, me
6.
Hannah 03:39
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Oh there's Hannah, the girl I don't know and she don't know me, and that's okay Watch her coming and watch her go, nothing to see and nothing to say Hannah, walk on by, let's not let a good thing die Hannah, don't say hi, hi's just prelude to goodbye Hannah, let's not try, if we don't talk then we can't lie She might be the very best friend you'd ever make, I hope she'll stay Or maybe she's one issue away from slashing your face, run away Hannah, walk on by, let's not let a good thing die Hannah, don't say hi, hi's just prelude to goodbye Hannah, let's not try, if we don't talk then we can't lie Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah, Hannah Walk on by, don't say hi, let's not let a good thing die If we don't talk then let's not try, say say say say say say goodbye Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye ooh
7.
Repeater 03:29
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I'm misery with company with nothing to say Another brakeman on the rail so that the devil can prey Screaming at the streetlights and I'm bound to be heard With a pocket full of nothing and a mouth full of words In the breadline again, I should just call it my home Fishing change from dirty mouths of the public phones Daily swallowing the squalor that you've only heard of All the ashes down below and all the rain from above You never be nobody, never goin nowhere, uh uh, uh uh I got the train comin at me and I just don't care, uh uh, uh uh With my soul on the market and I feel so strange Nobody's buying anyway, can't break a penny for change Besides, who'd be there to split the rails if I were to go away? Another slum rat asking me to spare him a joint I could pull on the money machine but really what'd be the point? In the shipwreck of the city where the tragedies sing And I'm just another echo, watch me ring ring ring Yeah I'm misery with company, I got nothing new A broke down repeater with a five nickel view Screaming at the streetlights and I'm bound to be heard Say you love me or you hate me, all I'm hearing is words "You'll never be nobody, never going nowhere", uh uh, uh uh I got the train coming at me and I just don't care, uh uh, uh uh With my soul on the market and I feel so strange Nobody's buying anyway, can't break a penny for change Besides, who'd be there to split the rails if I were to go away?
8.
Drag 02:46
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Well it's your turn to scream your grudges at a wall Small victory when you say anything at all Absence of absence, I don't think I'd miss that much In light of day even our shadows never touch I've called your bluff about a thousand times a day So what's one more if it means you might go away Won't be the one to own I helped this go astray The choice is yours and maybe this time you don't stay How long have we been biding time here for the fall Some poetry of rage, neglect and alcohol Shall I compare you to a summer gutter breeze? You're like a dry heave making me gag on my knees I've called your bluff about a thousand times a day So what's one more if it means that you go away Only one thing that could surprise me you could say I'll wait for you to make that move and find a way You don't stay, you don't stay yeah You don't stay, you don't stay yeah
9.
Bleary 03:17
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And the sun that blares my head to ring is just the light that hangs from the ceiling, I left it on again All the mirrors facing me once more, bent and impossible to ignore, they turn me off again Sh-sh-she says "You only believe you need this," and yes I do, I do I-I-I say "I can be invincible or just a dimmer shade of this" She said, "You can't do this forever" And I said, "I don't need forever" I'm trading ages for a chance to breathe and a temporary silence I rent the person that I used to be with no regard for the expense I can save myself another day, gotta find some way to make it Gonna take another shot today, gonna find some way to break it, break it, go (She said, I said, she said, I said) I'm trading ages for a chance to breathe and a temporary silence I rent the person that I used to be with no regard for the expense I can save myself another day, gotta find some way to make it Gonna take another shot today, gonna find some way to break it, break it, go They turn me off again
10.
Wrecking Ball 04:35
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I got plenty of time, we got nothing to say You gotta take it to the limit on the devil birthday Lookin for somethin to bide my time Gotta find someone to kill some time With a pocket of change and a bag full of brown You can taste the laced bass in the spot downtown Junkyard hustlers and a heart attack smile Grandfather time'll be high for a while Pincushion arms, all the spoons are black Tornado weather yellow blazer on his back He's the type that like it when the sky fall down We all the type that like it when the sky fall down We all the type that like it when the sky fall down, I want to make it fall! Another drip in the faucet with a tip in the jar Another singin waste of space that'll never go far Another grain on the beach, another stain on the wall She the type of woman want to be with them all We love the type of woman want to be with them all Drifter jailbait, totally naive I wanna throw it all away like you wouldn't believe About the stupidest goddess that I ever did see I won't be happy til she sleepin with me Everybody wants it and they looking for some Well run and hide cuz here I come Suicide and a bottle of rum Suicide and a bottle of rum, yeah, yeah, yeah! Ask for time, I got plenty to spare Never asked your name, got no reason to care Never expect nobody to ask me to stay And I couldn't care less you hear a word I say No, I couldn't care less you hear a word I say City park carnival making some headway Slam piece trailer beast looking for threeways See the man sleeping at the One Eyed Jack's Two tone lone drone, put it on wax stoned Tokin up homegrown, stupid and white Wrecking ball come I'm gonna be all right Wrecking ball come we gonna be all right Oh when the wrecking ball come we gonna be all right, go! Oh, turn it out
11.
Some Sort of Beautiful Racket 04:41
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Never mind your long lost lover, you can always find another We never found a reason to stay, happy endings always bored us anyway I can see the song before us: verse for now; tomorrow, chorus There's a sickness in seeing it through-ooh, maybe someday something I'll relate to And if it's not, I'll at least have heard it through to the end, two, three, go Never mind your long lost lover, you can always find another There's a sickness in seeing it through-ooh, maybe someday something I'll relate to It's too late to, it's too late to, it's too late to-ooh, it's too late to All my thoughts keep drifting toward (Twenty steps from being free) Every road that I ignored (Tomorrow's never reaching me) But for now we should resume (This is what we're meant to be) Singing to our empty room (And if it's not then don't tell me) I dream of when this song won't speak to me again, til then How cruel, oh how cruel, how cruel, oh how cruel
12.
Letter 03:26
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The town has gone to sleep for now, I think I've got some time to write Most of these folks you don't know though I think you'd be surprised who you might They said "we're gonna put a play together though we don't know yet what it's about We'll let everybody be in it so that there's no one left to be in the crowd" You know, you're ten blocks from the beginning, sixty miles from the start A hundred times you'll stake a claim there a million miles from the mark I know you think I'm wasting time here not sculpting up an image to play This is my last letter, and here's the last thing I'll say: While I'm out there "wasting time" maybe you might find Everything's a "waste of time" in the right frame of mind All you left behind, when it hits you blind Find whatever signs you'll heed to, here's where I resign

credits

released September 28, 2020

Jak Locke: music / lyrics / vocals / guitar / piano / PSS-80 / organ / clavinet
Blaine Wear, Jr.: guitar
Brad Milliken: guitar
Trina Storm: bass / backing vocals
Brian Peschlow: drums
Ryan Toussel: engineering and production

recorded, mixed and mastered May - August 2020 at Studio13 in Metairie, LA
album art by Jak

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Jak Locke New Orleans, Louisiana

Jak Locke is a multi-genre songwriter and performer based in and native to New Orleans, LA.

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